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Students Writing
Assessment Report
Transcribed Text:
Part One Answer
You must write within the grey lines.
Nowadays we are given the opportunity to study, with internet’s help, online. This fundamental change in studying switches the game. Undoubtedly, it provides many advantages, but disadvantages as well.
Online education appears to be perfectly suitable to people with strict routines. To illustrate this, what differentiates online education is its flexibility and adaptability. For instance, recorded lectures ameliorate the lesson since one can watch it whenever they are free. Furthermore, provided that someone is ill, they get the chance not to miss their lesson, or meeting. Working online offers one the ability to travel a lot or stay home more, if needed. It is crucial to study in a fruitful manner to yourself, therefore having the liberty to do so is awesome. In addition, apart from saving time and the other conveniences mentioned, this method is also much more affordable. People who find it hard to make ends meet choose this lifestyle so as to avoid the transportation, and the expense of sustaining an office or attending pricey lectures with professionals.
Nevertheless, drawbacks of online education do exist. No compelling digital tools, group chat work rooms or tempting screen records can compete with real, close proximity lessons. Technology cannot discard that “friendly ambiance” which being in the room with your teacher offer. Nor that strong and acute feeling of being with your other students, classmates or colleagues. Classwork and especially group work cannot be replaced. Bouncing ideas off each-other, exchanging perspectives and sharing views are the basic needs for strong relationships and open our minds.
Assessment based on Cambridge C2 Proficiency Criteria
Student’s prompt inferred: The writing is a Part 1 essay discussing the advantages and disadvantages of online education, integrating key points and providing evaluation and personal ideas.
1) Grade and Reasoning
Content: 4/5
The essay addresses the task well, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of online education. The student covers flexibility, affordability, and convenience as advantages, and the lack of real interaction and group work as disadvantages. However, some points could be more fully developed or balanced, and the conclusion is somewhat abrupt. The target reader is mostly informed, but some ideas could be expanded for full clarity and depth.
Communicative Achievement: 4/5
The essay uses an appropriate formal register and generally holds the reader’s attention. The tone is suitable for an academic essay. Some sentences are slightly awkward or unclear, which occasionally detracts from the flow. The writer communicates complex ideas effectively but could improve cohesion and style to be more convincing.
Organisation: 3/5
The essay has a clear introduction and body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages. However, paragraphing is inconsistent, and the conclusion is weak and lacks a clear summary or final thought. Transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the overall structure could be more coherent and logical.
Language: 3/5
The vocabulary is appropriate with some less common lexis (ameliorate, acute, compelling). Grammar shows a range of complex and compound sentences, but there are errors and awkward constructions that reduce precision and naturalness. Some punctuation errors and word choice issues are present. The writing shows ambition but lacks full control and sophistication expected at C2.
Total: 14/20
Percentage: 70%
Strong & Weak Points
Strong points:
Good coverage of task content with relevant points on both sides.
Appropriate formal register and tone.
Use of some less common vocabulary and complex sentence structures.
Weak points:
Organisation needs clearer paragraphing and a stronger conclusion.
Some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing.
Occasional punctuation errors and inconsistent cohesion.
Ideas could be more fully developed and linked.
Action Plan: What to Improve Next – Beta feature
To improve towards a higher C2 level, focus on:
Enhancing organisation: practice writing clear introductions, well-developed body paragraphs, and strong conclusions. Use cohesive devices flexibly.
Refining grammar control: work on complex sentence structures, especially relative clauses, conditionals, and inversion for emphasis.
Expanding vocabulary precision: learn collocations and idiomatic expressions related to academic topics.
Improving punctuation accuracy, especially commas and sentence boundaries.
Developing ideas more fully with examples and explanations.
Practical exercises:
Write essays on similar topics, focusing on clear paragraphing and linking ideas smoothly.
Rewrite paragraphs using inversion and varied sentence structures.
Practice exercises on punctuation rules, especially commas in complex sentences.
Expand vocabulary by learning and using academic collocations and phrases.
Peer review or self-assess essays to identify unclear or awkward phrasing.
Example practice task:
“Write an essay evaluating the pros and cons of remote working, integrating at least four key points and your own opinion.”
2) Errors Table
| Error Type | Incorrect Version | Corrected Version | Explanation |
|---|---|---|---|
| Grammar | “internet’s help” | “the internet’s help” | Missing article “the” before “internet” in this context. |
| Grammar | “switches the game” | “changes the game” | “Switches the game” is awkward; “changes the game” is idiomatic. |
| Punctuation | “advantages , but disadvantages” | “advantages, but disadvantages” | No space before comma. |
| Grammar | “people with strict routines” | “people who have strict routines” | “People with strict routines” is acceptable but “people who have” is clearer. |
| Grammar | “To illustrate this, what differentiates online education is its flexibility and adaptability.” | “To illustrate this, what differentiates online education is its flexibility and adaptability.” | Sentence is awkward; could be clearer but not incorrect. |
| Grammar | “ameliorate the lesson since one can watch it whenever they are free.” | “ameliorate the lesson since one can watch it whenever they are free.” | “They” is singular here; better to use “he or she” or “one” for agreement. |
| Grammar | “provided that someone is ill, they get the chance” | “provided that someone is ill, he or she gets the chance” | Pronoun agreement issue: singular “someone” with plural “they”. |
| Grammar | “Working online offers one the ability to travel a lot or stay home more, if needed.” | “Working online offers one the ability to travel a lot or stay home more if needed.” | Comma unnecessary before “if needed”. |
| Grammar | “It is crucial to study in a fruitful manner to yourself” | “It is crucial to study in a fruitful manner for yourself” | Incorrect preposition “to” instead of “for”. |
| Grammar | “therefore having the liberty to do so is awesome.” | “therefore, having the liberty to do so is awesome.” | Missing comma after “therefore”. |
| Spelling | “convenients” | “conveniences” | Incorrect spelling. |
| Punctuation | “transportation, and the expense” | “transportation and the expense” | No comma before “and” in a list. |
| Grammar | “No compelling digital tools, group chat work rooms or tempting screen records can compete” | “No compelling digital tools, group chat workrooms or tempting screen recordings can compete” | “Work rooms” should be one word “workrooms”; “records” should be “recordings”. |
| Grammar | “Technology cannot discard that “friendly ambiance” which being in the room with your teacher offer.” | “Technology cannot discard that “friendly ambiance” which being in the room with your teacher offers.” | Subject-verb agreement error: “teacher offer” → “teacher offers”. |
| Grammar | “Nor that strong and acute feeling of being with your other students, classmates or colleagues.” | “Nor that strong and acute feeling of being with your other students, classmates or colleagues.” | Sentence fragment; needs rephrasing or connection. |
| Grammar | “Bouncing ideas off each-other” | “Bouncing ideas off each other” | “Each other” is two words. |
| Grammar | “exchanging perspectives and sharing views are the basic needs for strong relationships and open our minds.” | “exchanging perspectives and sharing views are the basic needs for strong relationships and opening our minds.” | Parallelism error: “open” should be “opening” to match “strong relationships”. |
3) Grammar Identification
The student uses:
Complex sentences with subordination (“provided that someone is ill, they get the chance…”)
Relative clauses (“what differentiates online education is its flexibility and adaptability”)
Passive voice is absent but could be used.
Modal verbs (“cannot”, “can”)
Conditionals (“provided that”)
Coordinating conjunctions and compound sentences
Some attempts at inversion or fronting are missing but could enhance style.
Grammar structures that could be added for C2:
More varied conditionals (third conditional, mixed conditionals)
Inversion for emphasis (“Not only does online education offer…”)
Nominalisation for formality (“the flexibility and adaptability of online education”)
More sophisticated connectors (moreover, nevertheless, consequently) used flexibly.
4) Suggestions
Work on paragraphing: separate ideas clearly and include a concluding paragraph.
Use more varied and sophisticated linking words and phrases.
Improve pronoun agreement and avoid singular/plural mismatches.
Avoid sentence fragments; ensure every sentence has a subject and verb.
Practice punctuation rules, especially commas in complex sentences.
Expand vocabulary with academic collocations and idiomatic expressions.
Try rewriting sentences using inversion and nominalisation for style.
5) Corrected Text
Nowadays we are given the opportunity to study online with the internet’s help. This fundamental change in studying changes the game. Undoubtedly, it provides many advantages but disadvantages as well.
Online education appears to be perfectly suitable for people who have strict routines. To illustrate this, what differentiates online education is its flexibility and adaptability. For instance, recorded lectures ameliorate the lesson since one can watch them whenever free. Furthermore, provided that someone is ill, he or she gets the chance not to miss their lesson or meeting. Working online offers one the ability to travel a lot or stay home more if needed. It is crucial to study in a fruitful manner for yourself; therefore, having the liberty to do so is awesome. In addition, apart from saving time and other conveniences mentioned, this method is also much more affordable. People who find it hard to make ends meet choose this lifestyle so as to avoid transportation and the expense of sustaining an office or attending pricey lectures with professionals.
Nevertheless, drawbacks of online education do exist. No compelling digital tools, group chat workrooms or tempting screen recordings can compete with real, close proximity lessons. Technology cannot discard that “friendly ambiance” which being in the room with your teacher offers. Nor can it replace that strong and acute feeling of being with your other students, classmates or colleagues. Classwork and especially group work cannot be replaced. Bouncing ideas off each other, exchanging perspectives and sharing views are the basic needs for strong relationships and opening our minds.
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